Threads
by unnafraher
Summary: Johan Andersen could wait two more years, he knew, for he had endured much longer. But when the world catches up to him, the fragile vestiges that had sustained him are strained more than he could have ever known. -DONE- -GX!5D's, Spiritshipping-
1. expiration

So here is what will probably be my last fanfiction for a good while, maybe even my last GX fanfiction. There are a lot of people that I have to thank for this and I feel that I could fill up a good two pages detailing all the contributions made by others. But you know, I don't think I'm going to, since I'm sure that those who contributed know very well who they are. I thank them all from the bottom of my heart, and hope that any enjoyment they may glean from this piece goes a little towards paying my debts. Because I'm lame I decided to split this up into installments...so I guess chapters? It was originally meant to be a oneshot, but I figured that the length would be a bit much for one sitting.

_Disclaimer: I do not own _Yuugioh! DM GX _or_ Yuugioh! DM 5D's.

* * *

The sky was alive that night with pulsing, neon colours whose brilliance rivalled those of any other solar storms in memory. A phantasmagoric ribbon twisted through the sky, an opaque snake thrashing against the star-studded heavens. Then the ribbon split, and there was a great number of smaller writhing forms. Johan Andersen took this all in from his place upon the roof of his house complex, his body buried in layers of clothing and his arms wrapped tightly around his body. No other soul joined him, and of this he was not surprised. The Aurora had become his private show it seemed and would be just that until the end. Everyone else was too busy now to enjoy this flaunting of nature's beauty. Though with what they were all busy with no one could say, but they felt it all the same. The threads of dysphoria were woven into the air and ran through every person.

Then, in the depths of his soul, echoed the truth that he had spent so many nights wondering; that the time was nearly upon the world.

And Johan, who had not objected to his small, sequestered existence for two years, felt isolated as he never had before. He was not a part of their preparations. He did not hear their vague mutterings about nameless concepts. He knew of the key word—change—and how it was slowing pulling them away towards an unknown future. Things were going to change and he was going to be left behind. If only he could prevent it; if only he could allow himself to fall into the gravity of Momentum.

A flash of white light caught Johan's attention as it streaked behind the Aurora. For but a glorious moment the falling star had tried to make an impression on the world. Unfortunately, only one man had seen it, and that man was too tired to appreciate its transient beauty and laud its endeavour. With a heavy body, Johan shook his head and closed his sagging eyelids. The cold was upon him in that moment, as sharp as finely crafted sword cutting an icy clarity. The hiemal air burnt his lungs and constricted his chest as it rushed through him. He immediately stood up and stretched his arms above his head, the red thread tied to his left wrist fluttering from the sudden movement. His breast was tight, but he was fine. Johan exhaled loudly, calming himself, before sitting down again.

To his left came a curious mewling that immediately drew his tiring gaze. Johan smiled at the source of the cries, his beloved spirit partner Ruby Carbuncle, as he brought his hands to his mouth and exhaled. He then rubbed then together. The intangible creature ran up her master's arm and settled against the crook of his neck and beneath a lock, providing the man with no extra warmth and disturbing not a single strand of celadon hair. Johan then brought his hands to his neck and smiled. He appeared content, absorbed in affection. Cooing to Ruby, he thanked her for her presence and kind, if but impotent, gesture.

There was a flurry of motion, and then he was surrounded by his family. Cobalt Eagle perched on Johan's head, making himself comfortable before digging his head into his plumage. Amethyst Cat curled up by his side, and the rest of the Gem Beasts took their own positions on the roof which they all, miraculously, fit on.

Just as the cold had been upon him, Johan was suddenly felt an acute wistfulness over come him. Overwhelmed, he was close to crying for gratitude he felt towards his family and constant companions. All of them were here for him and always would be. So constant were they, they would be endure long after he had departed from this world. Not to say that Johan worried about death or his own morality, but rather he found a certain comfort in knowing that the Gem Beasts would still live on when he left. And it was hard for him to define, but there was a faint inkling that told him any separation would be only temporary. No matter what, they would find him again.

"Johan, Johan, make a wish," Cobalt Eagle cooed urgently from his perch.

Johan looked up towards the heavens expecting to catch a glimpse of a singular faint light but, much to his delight, instead saw a vast number of white streaks spangling the dark night. A galaxy could have been falling, he thought, though he was aware that it was just a meteor shower. A rare occasion for sure; the last time he had seen one had been nearly ten years ago.

Enervated by the shower of light, Johan stood up quickly, nearly shaking Cobalt Eagle from his head. He smiled as he pressed his chin against his neck and covered his mouth with his wool scarf. Several more meteors past, and then the night was bare of any ornaments but for the Aurora, which was now a uniform wan green.

"Johan missed his chance!" Cobalt said, fluttering his wings.

Ruby jumped from Johan's shoulder to his crown. "_Rubi_."

"Nah, just give it a moment, guys," Johan said, his words muffled but intelligible.

And the meteor shower did resume, and he watched it until the very end.

--

For reasons he did not particularly care about, Johan had become increasing nocturnal in the past year. So when he received a knock on his door at ten the next morning he was barely presentable, let alone ready to deal with another person. That he had not had a visitor in nearly a year did little towards his preparedness. He took his time to amble down the hall connecting his living room and atrium, along the way taking ample time to observe the shapes that the refracted light made on the white walls and make mental notes of where he had to dust.

Stifling a yawn when he finally reached his door, he unchained the single lock and opened it. There, looking up at him with piercing green eyes, was a man of a manner he had never seen. The man before Johan had decidedly elfin features, make-up reminiscent of a clown, and raiment that seemed stolen from a ring master. All of this in concert had Johan wondering if this person was indeed a person and not a Duel Spirit.

"Johan Andersen-kun, the Gem Beast duellist," the man said, the quality of his voice nearly making Johan wince.

"Yes, that's me. And you are?" Johan asked, careful to keep any hints of his first impression of this man from his tone. Which, admittedly, was quite a task since Johan felt an almost instantaneous distrust of this new man.

"I am Jaegar, Chief of Special Investigations for the Public Security Maintenance Bureau of Neo Domino City. It is a pleasure." Jaeger, after bowing at his waist, extended a hand which Johan was reluctant to touch for a handshake.

"Neo Domino? What would a Japanese public official need with me?" Johan asked, incredulous. He then looked past the short man for the first time and observed the plush limousine idling at the curb. Even though the sun's reign was well established in the blue sky, the headlights were on. Johan looked back to the man and regarded him a moment.

"Ehehe,"—Johan cringed here, deeply troubled by his laugh—"you would have known had you had a telephone or read your mail. You see, we—the Bureau of Public Security—are very interested in employing you to be in the first exhibition duel in the new Duel Stadium."

"I do not Speed Duel," Johan said with a perfunctory wave of his hand, assuming that was what this little man was after. He had wondered if one day the subject would be broached to him, and he had decided many times over that he would refuse no matter what. After all, the new world was not for him.

"Oh no, just a standing duel. Your deck is too outdated to work in a Speed Duel. Besides, we know about your debilitating little condition."

Johan stiffened, neither pleased to hear his family insulted or that such an intimate detail of his life was known by some random outsider. "How? I was promised by Kaiba Corporation that my medical record would remain private."

"It was not Kaiba Corporation, Johan Andersen-kun. Your former manager had a breakdown a few months ago. He was a threat to public security so we had to cease his assets and estate, which included the files of all of his clients, ehehehe."

"What? Then how much do you...My privacy has been violated." Johan was visibly upset, his brow furrowed and his shoulders angled as he regarded Jaeger.

"No it has not. It is our right. You may see your file if you like, ehehe."

Nonplussed and irritated, Johan looked on as Jeager pulled out a PDA which projected a holographic interface. He felt foolish for not being aware that such technology had been developed for uses outside of Duel Monsters. So now Kaiba Corporation was doing more than Duel Monsters, was probably dominate over all technology now. Jeager typed in the Katakana for Johan's full name, and, after going through a few screens, pulled up the appropriate file. He then passed the hologram off to Johan who, in his shock, instinctually reached into the air to grab the floating, opaque rectangle gliding towards him. And on this rectangle he saw his life dissected and systematically summarised, including a list of all his vital status as of three years ago and a summation of certain events in his life. Not sure whether to be mortified or curious, Johan looked from the insubstantial screen to Jaegar and back.

"Ehehe, quite an accomplishment, yes? Every citizen Domino City—both Neo and the Satellite—has such a file. Luckily, yours is not public and it will stay that way as long as you refrain from disorderly and immoral behaviour."

Johan merely nodded as he passed the screen back and regarded Jeager, wondering what this man who made a living violating privacy considered as immoral behaviour.

"So, have you considered our offer, Johan Andersen-kun?" Jeager asked as he closed the screen and placed his PDA back in his pocket.

"Offer? I..."

"Be aware that we will take very good care of you when you come. In addition to your pay of ten million Yen all living and personal expenses will be covered. And if you wish to remain in Neo Domino City, a residence in Tops is guaranteed, all expenses gladly covered. Here, read over this letter. It'll provide you with all that you need to know."

"I need more time to think about it—there is a lot to think about. Please give me some time."

"Of course. Though, it seems you've been quite effected by your years, yes? I will be back tomorrow, ehehe. Sleep well, Johan Andersen-kun." And with one more obnoxious laugh, Jeager turned and headed for his limousine.

Johan quickly closed his door and leaned against it for a length, unaware of the elapsing minutes. His mind was still, but then he thought, and he thought only about that strange man, that short envoy of the outside world knocking at his door and alerting him to his place in the new world. Who had he thought he was? Johan wondered. He was not above the change. It had come to him before and left him to his isolation. Now that it had come for him again, his response was entirely up to him. Yet something about Jaegar had left a subliminal impression on him, that no matter his own will and sentiments he would end up leaving. They had gone through all the trouble of tracking him down, after all. He was unnerved now, and justly so. He could feel his family trying to comfort and soothe him. Such was their effort, and so he did his best to effect nonchalance for their sake.

After collecting himself a bit more, Johan stood straight up, tucked the paper Jaeger had given him in his pocket, and began walking down the hallway. He quickly stopped and looked over his shoulder, suddenly sure that he was being watched. Assured that nothing was there, he continued walking, but slowly. He started when a nearby clock announced quarter past ten.

Marvelling at how nervous he had become, Johan picked up his pace and, upon arriving in his front room, settled himself on the couch. That the meeting with Jeager had been disturbing there was no doubt, and he could not help but wonder why it was so. Johan had never been one to mind another's appearance. Perhaps it had been his intonation, that habit of his of rising peculiarly high on his last syllable. Johan had never heard a speech a pattern quite like it, which was probably why it had made such an impression on him. Then there was the possibility that he was unnerved simply because Jeager, for all his salient physical characteristics, had an air about him that suggested that he knew unfathomable things about everyone else in the world, things even that one did not—could not—know about oneself.

Sensing his rising distress that he had been trying so hard to mask, his Duel Spirit Ruby materialised on his lap and curled up against his torso. With one expectant glance cast up at him, she earned all of Johan's attention as well as a hand stroking her incorporeal head. That he was merely stroking the air never did seem to bother Johan. And perhaps if it had it would have suggested something that was not natural to his character, but rather something that had quietly festered over the years. Though he had yet to truly acknowledge it, Johan had become more sensitive to the opinions of others, and probably would never really acknowledge it until he resumed regular contact with the outside world.

"_Rubibi,_" came the soft trill of his Duel Spirit.

Johan responded by scratching behind one of her ears and smiling down wearily at her. "I really don't know what I'm going to do, Ruby. I think I might need to sleep on it, as he said. Last night...last night I didn't sleep too well, and I've got a bit of a headache." To illustrate what kind of pain he was having, Johan brought a hand up and pressed his thumb into his forehead. He had become increasingly susceptible to headaches lately, the most common kind a dull throbbing in the front of his head that managed to hinder overly complicated thought. Often times he woke up with these headaches, and on such days he was more drained than usual, moving through his daily rituals with a languidness that those who had known him years before would never be able to believe he possessed.

But, then again, a lot had changed.

Sighing slightly, Johan leaned back into the couch and nuzzled his cheek into the cool cushion. Ruby, in the most comforting gesture she knew, jumped to Johan's shoulder and settled between his shoulder and cheek. She waited a while, swinging her tail in a rhythm occasional interrupted by a quick flick to either side. Johan's breathing grew steadily quieter. Eventually he feel asleep.

It was when they were sure he was gone within the nebulous world of dreams did the Gem Beasts appear.

Though not the whole family, Cobalt Eagle, Amethyst Cat, and Sapphire Pegasus took in upon themselves to deliberate the issue of Johan's leaving of the house and all subsequent issues. Sure he needed out—they even worried about how much of a recluse he had become—but would it really do him good to go somewhere as far away as Japan? There were also memories in Domino City, so whether or not that would be good for Johan was debatable. Whether or not they could trust this strange envoy of outside world was also up for debate. However, it was unanimously agreed that Johan needed to duel again and that, more likely than not, he would end up going. The issue at hand now was how exactly they would go about supporting him. They had become the cornerstone of his existence these days, which made this an exceedingly delicate subject.

"I don't care what you think, we need to be there for Johan in whatever capacity he needs us," Amethyst said, her tone as pointed as ever. That her sharp (if poorly chosen) words could cut down almost any argument had never been doubted by the rest of the Gem family.

"Yes, yes, but where is the line? You know what has happened in the past. If he is seen chattering with the air all day long that will not leave a good impression on other humans," Cobalt countered, bringing up a valid point as well as a very possible reality. "It's already happened once. Not again."

"Don't forget that he can communicate with us through channels in his mind." This time it was Sapphire Pegasus who spoke.

"And being conspicuously silent is any better? Poor Johan is doomed either way!"

"Ugh, listen to you two go on! We're _family_, and families are there for one another no matter what. Maybe they'll think he's loopy, maybe they'll conclude that he thinks too much. Either way—or anything else, for that matter—it shouldn't mean anything to us. What Johan needs, we give him just as we always have," Amethyst said quite flatly. When she was finished she shook her head in a rather human display. "And that's the end."

When Cobalt Eagle and Sapphire Pegasus both had nothing farther to say, it was clear to all that Amethyst Cat had won. With a not-so-cool head prevailing, all three disappeared back within their cards sitting in Johan's front pocket. Ruby, however, remained sitting on Johan's shoulder until she herself fell asleep.

--

Johan's current residence was a medium sized, two-floor housing unit with two bedrooms, two and a half bathrooms, a living room, a kitchen with an attached dining room, and a study on the second floor. Most of the furnishings were illustrious of the owner—generally plain with a few striking eccentricities, such as the gilded kitchen clock and a set of mismatched dining chairs that looked like they were from entirely separate epochs of human history. There was no television or computer to be found in the house. The only inlet for information was a radio placed on his nightstand, and it had a nasty habit of not working for days on end, and then only picked up two channels since radio had long ago become obsolete. Of the few channels that still existed, most were carried by way of satellite. There were three existing copies of the house key, two of which were in his possession.

When Johan woke up it was well into the evening. But the time was his last concern, overshadowed by a sense of dread instilled in him by his dream, the memories of which had dissolved into faint impressions immediately upon waking. Try as he might his recollections yielded only blurs of colours and whispers of concepts he had never known. That he had once been to the place in his dreams there was no doubt, but he had drifted away from it so long ago he may as well have never known it. He was not overwhelmed, however, for such dreams were no longer strange to him. Dreams seemed to have little effect on him, really, unless they were of the time he had spent as a student at the Duel Academia. Those dreams and the respite they provided were rare and worth the world to him.

When the dread had passed, Johan sat up and stretched. Upon glancing out his window he shrugged and lay back down. Without another thought he pulled out the paper given to him Jaeger and scanned over the dozen our so sentences typed in a plain Sans Serif font. It read like a memorandum and the paper was thick, smooth, and off-white. After reading it over a few times he put it back into his pants pocket, crossed his arms behind his head, and glued his eyes to the darkened ceiling, to which they would stay glued for a good four hours.

In the end Johan knew better than to think he could possibly stay away from Neo Domino City. It was a Hobson's choice, figured, and whatever his intents, sentiments, or own personal inertia, there were more forces then he could ever know pulling him to a place worlds away from his own peaceful existence. With the decision made came the inexorable struggle of rousing his excitement and enthusiasm. Try as he might, the prospect was at best deserving of mixed feelings. His ambivalence was born of vague images and expectations of Domino City, memories that had since faded, leaving behind only glimpses of the towering stalk of the Kaiba Corporation building smoldering as it prepared to collapse within itself and the faint scent of sea air as he stood surrounded by his family in the presence of someone he had liberated. On the other side of his being was a stirring of something that had been dormant, a strange mixture of feeling and emotions rising on a tide he had forgotten the name of. Also effecting his enthusiasm was the nature of the man sent to retrieve him. He was cut of a political cloth, and that politicians were born with diarrhea of the mouth Johan had no doubt. Even if expostulated with hollow words and bloated language, Johan would have eventually given in if only to save his ears from being talked off.

So as it was, when Jaeger arrived at his home the next day at the exact time he said he would, Johan was ready to leave, the few possessions he figured he would need in a red valise bag and his Gem Beasts tucked safely within their holster. There was little worry that he would be missed for however long he was gone, so Johan had not say goodbye to his neighbours nor bothered broaching to them the task of taking care of his house while he was gone. Though there would be horribly noisome and stagnant air when he returned, Johan gave his home no more thought other than making sure both copies of the key were on his person.

It was a day as beautiful as any other at this time of the year, the autumn air made cool and sharp by an early hiemal chill. Everything seemed to be brighter in the sunlight, the buildings more colourful than usual and the brass buttons on Jaeger's clothing gleaming. Wisps of strikingly white clouds hung in the sky and an occasional sea bird flitted by. Johan took a deep breath before stepping outside of his house and locking the door behind him. Jaeger smiled, showing his teeth, while gesturing towards the limousine.

"After you, Andersen-kun."

But Johan hesitated a moment. Casting a glance at the walls that contained his house, Johan could not help but wonder if this moving would have any consequences. There was a part of him that was telling him he would never see this place again, this both worrying and exciting him. Suddenly he had half a mind to go back inside and gather a few more things, but this was quickly replaced by another, more poignant realisation: if he was not coming back here he would not need any more of his material possessions for he would either be dead or utterly content.

Behind him Jaeger cleared his throat. This did little to hurry Johan along, instead making him more inclined to linger. If he was going to leave, at least it would be on his own time and pleasure, if not on his own terms. There was a hollow silence that descended as the tension increased. Expectation and impatience rolled off of Jaeger whom Johan assumed was not use to being kept waiting. That he would tolerate such an indolent act spoke volumes to Johan, reenforcing his suspicion that there was a very important and powerful man behind all of this. But whether or not that was good or bad, Johan could not know for sure.

"All right, I'm ready," Johan suddenly announced. Turning on his heel, he strolled past Jaeger and showed himself to one of the limousine doors. He got in without a moment's thought, quickly sliding down the cool black seat, and folding his hands when he finally settled in. When Jaeger's small form finally stepped into the limousine Johan was looking out the window and twiddling his thumbs.

Jaeger had to fight to maintain his composure and not snap at this very special man. "Make yourself at home, Andersen-kun. We should arrive at the airport soon."

"I know that. I live here. And you know, I really don't like being called '-kun'. I think '-san' sounds better. Or if you want, you could speak English to me," Johan said without looking at Jaeger. He maintained his view of the passing buildings but set his hands in his lap.

"Andersen-san, then. As you prefer it. In any case, would you like something to drink?"

"No, not really. But I would like a few answers. First, why exactly are you guys interested in me?"

"Why, you! Ehehehe. Such a name as the legendary Johan Andersen-san kicking off the legacy of the Duel Stadium. It's truly a glorious, auspicious prospect," Jaeger said, his hand making a sweeping gesture. It was the only gesticulation Johan had seen him make, and it had seemed nearly awkward given what was said.

Johan shook his head slightly. "Heh, and quite symbolic, huh? After my duel—which you probably intend for me to lose—you'll probably have a round of Riding Duels. Such a succession will subtly impress upon the minds of the people an ending of the old era and the arrival of another. The advent is over, huh? It's here now, upon us and all the people of the world."

"Ehehe, you could say something like that, Andersen-san. But you misjudge our character. We don't mean to make such an image. Instead it is a time when the past meets the future in an amiable way. The old way must cede to the new, but it doesn't have to be painful."

"Who is it that you work for? Clearly these are not your ideas," Johan said simply. He was looking pointedly at Jaeger, almost glaring at him. It was quite clear that he was serious, but Jaeger merely laughed his unnerving laugh.

"They are my ideas indeed, Andersen-san. The Public Security Bureau is very concerned with how transition is handled, even if the people do no know that it is occurring before them."

"...Before them? It's almost as if you're suggesting that people aren't aware of the change."

"Ehehehe, again you are so close, Andersen-san. You see, people just don't seem to care."

Though were many things that Johan wanted to say and so many questions he wanted to ask, he remained silent as he regarded the strange man sitting across from him. He was bizarre for sure, both inside and out, a kitschy envoy for something Johan just could not quite fathom. The insinuations, innuendo, and doublespeak had his mind rolling over itself in an attempt to comprehend everything and tripping over itself in the process. Theories, worries, and words ran into each other and filled his mind with half-conceived thoughts that were quickly replaced by even more jumbled thoughts. He felt another headache coming on, so, doing his best to calm his mind, Johan took a deep breath and focussed once more on the world that seemed to pass by.

His own concave reflection stared back at him, the proof of his age evaluating him and passing judgment. What did his years think of him? If all the emotion and feelings of the past years had manifested in this realm as a sentient being it would not surprise him, really, for his interworkings had such a potency in him that they had quite literally taken on a life of their own. So, did his thoughts judge him now? What would they think of him, the one who had spent the dark, solitary hours conceiving them? Would they be merciful in their assessment of the one who had brought them to a miserable existence in an abject world?

Finally able to gather a semblance of coherent thought, Johan focussed his attention to the future, that ever-shifting place his mind had been increasingly prone to dwelling in. Though he knew considerable less than he would have liked about the circumstances of the situation and placed not a bit of trust in his "escort," Johan was able to extricate the good that was to be had from what was coming. To be able to stand upon the stage again and reach out to the hearts of the audience moved him, rippling upon the surface of his mind that was already as stable as water. If all went as said it would only be a matter of time before he could see his family in Solid Vision once again. They would be as real ever allowed in this dimension.

Though leaving also brought another singular anxiety to the back of his mind: what if, by leaving, he had set the course of his future down a entirely new road? He had been told to wait for two years. He had waited patiently for one, and he had ultimately left before time was up. By no means had he grown impatient or restless as far as he knew, and at this point he could only hope that this much was apparent to any who saw him moving away from his appointed place and followed the thread of his actions.


	2. fading

Aha, it would have been awesome if the parts were each five thousand words long, but the scenes just go on and on. Anyway, thanks to all readers, and especially to reviewers! Srsly,even one word makes my heart go 'squeeeeee'.

_**Disclaimer:**__ Nope, don't own anything here. _

* * *

The first thing that struck Johan about the city was how much had changed. From his perch in the descending helicopter he was allowed a stupendous panorama of Neo Domino City—from its desolate black birthplace to the new platforms being raised from the ocean floor up. In the centre of all this stood the greatest platform of all, studded with buildings that towered at heights that would have made New Yorkers crane their necks. When the helicopter touched down on the pad, Johan was immediately ushered out beneath the tumultuous shuddering of the churning chopper blades. Once he and the attendant guiding him were out of the way the helicopter took off. A stricken Johan watched ist ascent back into the sky until it was no more than a speck in the vast blue sky.

Now turning his attention to the city, he was taken once again by the sight, rightly unable to believe that this was the same city from years ago. The sheer scale of everything was hard for him to wrap his mind around: entire city blocks built upon artificial acres hovering above the sea, kilometres of road stretching between islands of concrete, steel, and asphalt, entire estates built upon the tops of buildings as white as sun-bleached bones. But what was most captivating of all was the building that stood in the centre of the city platform he was on, a soaring testament to the might of the Kaiba Corporation empire. What made it especially poignant to him was the personal connection with what had caused the destruction of the original Kaiba Corporation building. It would not have been a notable connection to anyone outside of his circle, but it was still enough to make him breathless at the thought:

_He_ had destroyed that building.

When he had sufficiently gathered himself, Johan turned to the attendant who was waiting silently nearby. With a slight smile to indicate that he was done, Johan rubbed the back of his head. "Sorry. It's just a bit much to see for the first time." He could not help but feel horribly obtuse, and hoped that he had not left too bad of an impression.

"Such is always the case, Andersen-sama," the attendant answered back before gesturing to his left. "If you are ready...?"

"Ah, right. Quite."

"Very well. Follow me."

Johan followed behind the prim attendant who was dressed in impeccable white and black. He matched the other's efficient stride easily enough, but found he was moving quicker than he would have liked, for he was also trying to get in as many glances as he could of the city moving around them. Though the ground around them had more than enough for him to take in as well, from the lush gardens to the occasional ornamental piece of architecture. After about ten minutes of walking they came upon an open plaza lined with cobblestones and punctured in the middle by a circular fountain in which dozens of water lilies road the tiny waves created by the cascading water. For a moment it was hard to imagine that they were indeed on the top of a building and not in the gardens of some European palace. And when he saw the sprawling palatial estate ahead of him, Johan knew he could have consciously rejected the reality of where they really were to help him make sense of all that he was experiencing.

Silent and in step with the attendant, Johan again divided his attention between walking and taking in his surroundings. Such scale and wealth was new to him, as even in the Pro Leagues he had never seen anywhere near the fortune he assumed to be behind this place. Upon arriving at the doors of the main house, he waited as the attendant opened the grand oaken door for him. The opulence of the atrium was more than enough to blow Johan's mind—shimmering crystal, glittering marble, polished wood, and twinkling glass, all overwhelming him upon first sight. As he absorbed one sumptuous detail he noticed another, and the cycle of amazement continued until he knew that surely the funds behind this place had to be nearly limitless.

He was then led up the broad central staircase and down a set of wide hallways. Tall windows allowed sunlight to flood into the hallways they walked, and Johan gladly soaked in this golden light as he passed by each window. After one more set of stairs and several hallways the two arrived in a vast room with vaulted ceilings. Mahogany panels lined the walls and evoked a rich, stately atmosphere that was complimented by the refurbished antique furniture. To the left was a door leading to an elevated garden, and to the right was a door that led to another room, giving Johan the seemingly ludicrous idea that maybe this grand room was nothing but an antechamber.

"Your apartments, Andersen-sama," the attendant announced flatly as he pointed to the right door. Turning to face Johan, he bowed at his waist. "Jaeger-sama will be here soon, so please make yourself as comfortable as possible in the meantime."

"Ah, hey, thanks...But say..."

"Is there something I can assist you with?"

Johan was about to ask the location of the washroom, but hesitated when he saw the serious look of his attendant. He could not bring himself to appear uncouth, so instead opted to dismiss the topic with a wave of his hand. "No, I'm fine. Thank you very much for all your help."

"Good day then, Andersen-sama. It's my sincere hope that you enjoy your stay."

Only when the attendant was nothing more than a faint tapping in the distance did Johan dare to breathe. He was not comfortable at all, sure that if he did anything wrong it would be reported to whoever his host happened to be. And judging by his accommodations, his host was a very important man, someone just short of a king. After depositing his valise bag on a nearby chair Johan strolled around the room, taking time in each corner to familiarise himself with the details of the place. When he reached the bookshelves he ran his hands over the cold leather-bound volumes, many of which had partially faded embossed gold titles. A good number of the books were in Latin, he noted, and a few in English. The most worn books spoke of times pasts, the tomes themselves vestiges of enlightened times.

Moving on, he stood at the base of one of the many pellucid windows, observing what he had initially thought was a patio, but was in fact a garden replete with exotic foliage and a functioning fountain. Completing the beauty of the small sanctuary was a solitary peacock proudly strutting around with his iridescent plumage on full display for no one other than himself. That Johan happened upon the sight was of no concern to the seemingly vain bird.

"I'm glad to see you've managed to become comfortable, Andersen-san." It was more a statement than an observation or greeting, and spoken in an exceedingly cool tone, but the words cut through the air nonetheless and tore Johan from his thoughts.

Starting slightly, the Gem Beast duellist turned on his heel to meet the gaze of what he assumed to be another servant. But upon first glance he knew that this man was no servant: tall, smartly dressed, age apparent in his well-kept grey hair, and exuding an abundance of urbane charm, the man whose presence he was in was by no stretch of the imagination subservient to any other man. When the man took a step towards him, Johan had to fight the urge to take one step back.

"Is there something wrong, Andersen-san?" the man inquired, his haughty smile dissolving into a thin line.

"I-I...Excuse me. I was a bit lost in thought."

"Ah, how things change over time, yes?" The man asked, his meaning almost painfully equivocal.

Johan fidgeted again, the question touching him on a deep level, easily flying past the few flimsy barriers he had put up around the matter. There was something about this man that set his nerves on end, profoundly unsettling him. It took a lot of effort, but he did his best to maintain a relatively neutral countenance. "Heh, I guess you could say that."

"In any case, I hope you find your accommodations to your liking. If there is anything you feel a want for, do not hesitate to ask." And with that the man turned on his heel to leave. He went only two steps, however, before Johan spoke up.

"Right, I will, but can you tell me when I'll see my host?"

"You're looking at him. Is there anything I can do for you?"

"I...No..."

"Very good then. I'm sorry, but I'm a very busy man. It would be horribly rude if I did not at least get a look at my guest before I engaged in the rest of the day's activities. Jaeger will be here soon to brief you, so if you think of anything that you need between now and then, please feel free to ask. Good day."

"I, yeah...Have a nice day."

Alone again, Johan could do nothing but look intently at the lucent image of himself staring back from the window. His mind was still functioning, but his thoughts had been scattered once again, now without any pattern and rushing too quickly to be given more than a fleeting consideration. At the very least his mirror image was silent and simple, conveying thousands of words to him through the most elementary means. A dilated pupil, longer hair, faint lines around his mouth—all bespoke of a lifetime of experiences that manifested in the physical realm on his visage. Though an outsider would never know all the details of those experiences, an outsider would never need to know.

In a perfunctory effort to ground himself, he laid a hand on the glass, and his reflection reached out for him as well so that they touched hands, two weary images separated by a thin pane of cool glass and a gulf as vast as space itself. One of flesh, one of light—one who would continue to exist, one who was merely transient. Try as he might to reach out to this image of himself—or the world—there always was that one insignificant obstacle, that translucent barrier that kept him out and away, ultimately by himself, and his only hope for company dependant on a person reaching out for him. He really could not be sure that any of this was real, that he had not died a long time ago and his soul was simply immured in an illusionary world within glass walls that repelled him whenever he strayed too close. Perhaps, he thought, only in reflections the true nature of the world was shown—when all things were backwards and all existence wrought of light and angles could the whole truth be exposed.

Withdrawing slightly, Johan now only touched the surface of the window with his fingertips. Could such a world exist? Maybe they—all humans—were all dead and all caught up in their own opaque existence. They all were at the centres of their own lives, anyway, and continued to move through life and the world until their time was up. They were invisible to each other until they accidentally collided with one another, at which time the illusion was shattered and they were allowed to meet another and learn to love someone other than themselves.

To think that such crossing points and portals existed between dimensions as mirrors brought a peculiar calm to his mind. There were always places where the illusion would run thin, and the truth was just in front of his face—all he had to do was reach out and hold on.

"Ehehe, are you enjoying yourself, Andersen-san?"

Disturbed once again, Johan turned around to meet the gaze of Jaeger. He was calmer and more collected this time since he knew who he was up against. Smirking slightly, he crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm doing well enough. This is just such a big room. There's a lot to see and take in."

"Yes, yes. There's no other room quite like it in the house. Godwin-sama thought you would enjoy it."

"Godwin?" Johan parroted, uncrossing his arms and standing just a bit straighter. "That's the name of that man—my host?"

"Godwin-sama is the head of the Public Security Bureau, which is your host, Andersen-san," Jaeger continued from his spot, still relatively close to the door. "By extension we are all your host, ehehehehe."

Johan shook his head. "I guess I'm quite lucky, then, to have so many people looking after my needs."

"You could say that, eheheh. Anyway, there is business to attend to, things I must inform you of. Mainly, your schedule," Jaeger said as he crossed the room.

Johan, who had no intention of accommodating anyone he so profoundly disliked, made no move and instead waited for Jaeger to reach him. When he finally had his 'schedule' in his hands, Johan looked it over once before frowning. On the holographic display before him was a list of rules of conduct essentially outlining what they expected his decorum to be, a series of appointments with what he assumed to be important people, and a precise date and time for his duel, though his opponent was not named.

"This is...?" Johan began, his eyes flicking from the screen to Jaeger.

"Your schedule, but also a few other things. Think of it as a welcoming gift, ehehehe."

"You mean you're giving me...this screen?"

"The PDA—yes. It's simple. Just bring your hands together like this to collapse it, and gesture like this to activate it."

Much to his surprise, the screen did exactly as Jaeger said it would when Johan mimicked the movements he had been shown. With a quick grab at the air he had the screen up again, as though he had plucked it from another, unseen world. He went over the information once more before closing the interface again."So, what else do I need to know?"

"Dinner will be at five, so please make yourself comfortable until then. Godwin-sama has a very important guest tonight, so please consider gracing them with your presence, ehehe. Though if you were ever to have an odd craving at any hour of the day, just let us know via your PDA's message system."

"Thank you, then."

"Is there anything else you need, Andersen-san?"

Johan was slightly taken back. The constant asking about his needs was starting to get on his nerves. Sure there were a lot of things he needed (grounding, a release, a believable reason why he was going through with all this), but there was nothing he really wanted from these people. They were tolerable at best, and even then they were teetering close to annoying him with their relentless inquiries about his needs. There was an array of questions he had for them, but the last thing he needed was his mind swimming with half-answers.

"Really, I'm fine. I'd just like some time to myself."

"Very well, ehehehe. Don't forget to inspect the rest of your lodgings—unless you intend to sleep out here." Jaeger said as he retreated.

Johan waited until he was alone before sighing loud enough to fill the merciful silence that had finally descended upon him. For the first time since arriving in Neo Domino City Ruby Carbuncle appeared on Johan's shoulder. She quickly jumped down onto a gueridon Johan had gravitated towards and looked up at him expectantly. Johan returned her gaze quickly, but said nothing for a length. Instead, he appreciated the lucidity of her impalpable eyes.

"_Rubibi_."

"Eh, what can I say?" Johan began, shaking his head slightly. "It's weird living with someone again...but I guess at least now I don't have to cook for myself, or have to do any housework for that matter. That gives me an awful lot of free time though..."

Then, on an impulse, Johan pulled out his new PDA screen with a swift grab at the air. He navigated around new screens, browsing through applications and several logs before he found what he was looking for: the internet. After passing through a few more windows, he had found an online Go room with several games already in progress. Smiling to himself, Johan pulled up one of the games and watched a couple of moves.

"Aha, if there's one thing I've missed about technology, it's the internet."

"_Rubi_."

Johan opened up a few more windows on his screen. He ran the name of his hometown through a search engine and ended up with a generous list of reference sites detailing everything from the local customs to the forecasted fishing haul. Then he ran a search on himself, only to be somewhat disappointed by the results; with as few results that turned up, he may as well have passed away as an obscure man who had not spent nearly seven years on a prominent global stage. Not that he minded that he had generally faded away from the annuls of the internet, he would have simply liked to see his legacy a bit better documented considering all of the blogs that had been written about him. The assortment of vague news bits and sparse online shrines displayed on his screen seemed almost to mock him, reminding him of how far he had fallen out of touch with the world. Regardless, he did not let this disappointment impress itself on him and spoil his mood.

Turning his attention now to the room about him, Johan closed his PDA screen and faced the mahogany door leading to the rest of the lodgings he would be occupying for an indefinite amount of time. He moved to collect his valise bag and paused a moment to look back through the windows. The peacock was visible as a colourful blur as it rounded a corner and disappeared behind a pot. Sighing softly, Johan made his way to the door and placed his hand lightly on the brass handle. It yielded readily with a quick clicking beneath the slight pressure he had applied, and the door opened of its own accord, revealing a room no more grand than the previous but one still more lavish then almost anything Johan was use to seeing.

The room was plenty spacious, was panelled with the same rich mahogany, had a ceiling that was noticeably lower but still high, had one more door which Johan assumed to lead to the washroom, and, as the focal point of the room, there was a grand four-poster bed headed by a large gilded reproduction of Monte's _Water Lillies_ mounted on the wall. The bright pastels of the painting were complimented by the colour scheme of the rest of the furniture in the room and the white duvet on the bed. Overall, Johan was left with a generally soft impression despite the sophistication of everything.

Johan moved to place his valise bag on down and take a seat on the foot of the bed. The mattress yielded to his weight yet stayed relatively firm, which earned a bit of wonder from him. It was probably made of foam, he decided, which was a vast improvement over his mattress at home. Still, he would have preferred his own bed for the sake of familiarity, even if at home he had been sleeping less and less.

Of everything so far, Johan had decidedly mixed feelings. He was pleased with his new connection with the outside world—his holographic PDA—and the privacy that he had finally been given. As for his hosts, the state of Domino City, and furnishings of the house he was far from pleased. He was sure that he was being used, but for what he could not say yet. From what he had seen of the city, it had gone through undeniable change and moved away from its origin, which was now a black land from which copious amounts of pollution billowed forth. As for the house, the antiquity contrasted violently with the sleek, modern architecture of the rest of the city. If these people were truly public officials, should they not have lived in an environment similar to that of those they served? Not to say that they could not live in style, but the choice to live in such outdated surroundings seemed like an irony anyone should have questioned.

Ruby, as concerned as ever about her master, appeared at Johan's side. She looked up at him expectantly until he put a hand on her head and smiled down at her.

"It's not a big deal, Ruby. I'm just a bit concerned over what happens now," Johan said quietly, almost as if he was afraid of being overhead.

"_Rubibi_."

Johan tilted his head slightly, allowing him to see the large painting looming behind in his peripheral vision. His attention, however, was quickly drawn to the space in front of him when several members of the Gem family materialised. All were silent before Sapphire Pegasus took a step forward with the initiative to talk.

"Johan, are you sure you're going to be okay?" Sapphire Pegasus began.

"Eh? Why wouldn't I be okay?" Johan asked, tilting his head once again.

"You're clearly uneasy. And that white-haired man...there was something off with him. There's something off with everyone here."

Johan regarded Sapphire Pegasus a moment. Sucking in a bit of air, he cast his gaze to the ceiling before slowly bringing it back down to his family, taking ample time consider what exactly he was going to say. Sure Sapphire Pegasus had a point, but what else were they to expect? From what Johan had gathered already, it was apparent to him that there was something terribly off with everything in this place. That the people were also affected by this unspeakable truth on some level was only to be expected.

"While I wholly agree with you guys about something being off with these people, I can't help but wonder if I just have to take it all in stride," Johan began plainly. "This place is different now, so naturally the people are going to be different as well. They've been affected by the change, so we have to allow for that. Still, I'll keep my guard up and if you all think that I should leave, I'll leave. I know that you have only ever had my best interest at heart."

"Of course, Johan. Please, just be careful and do not push yourself. We're all very worried for you."

"Again, if you guys want me to leave, I'll leave. It's not just my own welfare that I have to look after." Johan smiled wanly, his eyes betraying how weary he was. It was quite plain that he was sincere.

Sapphire Pegasus shook his head. "No. Not yet at least. We also want you to...to be able to live again."

"Live again...? I..." Johan trailed off, unsure of what exactly to say. As far as he knew his heart was still beating, the warmth of life still dispersed through his veins. Absently, he touched a hand to the side of his neck.

"Yes, to be able to duel and feel the thrill of competition again. It's obvious that you want that, so we will not take that away from you. We will do all that we can for you and only if we see more harm than good coming from staying will we ask you to leave," Sapphire Pegasus answered. To show their support of the notion, the rest of the Gem Beasts nodded. Ruby trilled as well, and jumped up to Johan's shoulder.

"Thank you, everyone," Johan whispered as he smiled. At length he looked at each of the assembled members of his family and took a moment to thank Amber Mammoth and Emerald Turtle individually, both having opted to stay within their cards. "I'm truly blessed with the best family. All of you mean so much to me...And I...And I owe you my life."

There were no verbal answers from the Gem Beasts, but instead a moving to gather around Johan in what might have been considered a hug. It was in silence that gratitudes that were shared among them all: for being the best head of household they could have asked for, for being there whenever he needed support, for being patient and abiding with him when he was waiting for something he really could not been sure was ever going to come. And now there were new things to be grateful for; the promise to wait with him this last little stretch of time, and to allow him an indulgence even if they were worried sick over his welfare.

At this moment—one of intense sentiments and feelings— Johan acutely considered himself to be truly blessed by his family, even more so than he normally would have. That he would never be able to express such a rich gratitude was enough to overwhelm him, and almost enough to drive him to a catharsis. But he was able to contain himself and instead focussed on preserving the feeling on this moment, this fleeting, singular time when he felt overwhelmed by affection and not desperately aching for someone—anyone—to acknowledge that he still existed.

–

The duel was scheduled to take place at noon exactly one month after Johan arrived. He had had no initial problem with this date, but after spending one week in Neo Domino City he began to doubt that he would survive that long. Between the meetings with prominent figures ranging from other duellists to foreign dignitaries, and his increasing anxiety over the ever equivocal intentions of his host, Johan found himself in a state of agitation quite unlike nothing he had felt before. If it was not the agitation that killed him, he figured, it would be his daily headaches that assaulted him with a searing, nearly intolerable pain. And with all of the remedies provided to him invariably failing to provided any relief, Johan had forced himself to effect an improvement in his health. He had quickly tired of Jaeger's incessant attempts to help him, and wanted to spend as little time as possible in the other's presence.

As another week passed by he found that his state continued to deteriorate. The meetings became less infrequent, but that was the only relief. Between headaches, pains began to flare throughout his body, greatly afflicting his constitution. Only when the looming duel was six days away did his headaches and pangs finally cease. But his anxiety did not, and was then even compounded by a vague understanding that several of his muscles did not respond quite exactly as his brain willed them too. He wrote if off of as a symptom of an annoying combination of exhaustion and hypochondria and did his best to think no more about it.

When the day finally arrived, Johan felt a great relief, almost as if the burden of waiting had been of an unimaginable weight. Despite a prudence born of his experiences, Johan allowed himself a certain excitement, even coming to relish it. That he did not know who his opponent was did not bother him, for he had spent so much time over the last few weeks shuffling through his deck he had become quite confident in his ability to win. No matter what the ability of his opponent was, he was sure his strategy would work.

At about nine in the morning there was a knocking on his door that announced the coming of Jaeger's unwanted presence. Regardless of his sentiments, Johan allowed the small man into his room and took the tea he offered without too much of a fuss. Though how much of it he actually drank would be largely dependant on how much Jaeger annoyed him. After a superficial briefing of how the day would go, the two set off for the helicopter pad. As they passed the plaza, Johan was again stricken by the sight of the fountain. One night when had been having a particularly painful headache he had wandered the expansive gardens of the estate and had happened to find the fountain, which was illuminated by a set of multi-coloured lights submerged beneath the turbulent waters. It would not have been such a memorising sight had his head not been pounding and his vision blurred, but it had touched him nonetheless. Now, passing the fountain in plain daylight, he could not help but recall the spectral, vaguely otherworldly image from that night.

Waiting for their arrival was a rather large white helicopter with its tail marked by the telling letters **KC**. Johan was escorted and helped once again by an attendant, as Jaeger was to remain and instead accompany Godwin. As such, the Gem Beast duellist was left to his thoughts for a few moments as he and his pilot sped towards the Duel Stadium, during which time he clutched his deck close to him and braced himself mentally for the crowds that he was expecting. The realisation of just how many people would be watching him was enough to produce in him a potent excitement. By the time the helicopter had landed and he was being helped out, he was smiling.

Though he had toured the Duel Stadium several times before and had had a rehearsal session, he could not help but still feel an awe being stirred by the building. And now with the volume of the crowds so loud to be heard even from three kilometres away, his awe was just as poignant as it had been when he first saw the building.

Johan was escorted the rest of the way—across the expanse of concrete sectioned off from the public and into the competitor lobby—by a group of three sharply dressed men whom he could not help but feel were evaluating his every move. He tried to strike up a conversation with one of them, but found his courtesies met with blunt, almost rude answers that consisted primarily of grunts and monosyllabic words. It was just as well to be ignored than fail in discourse, Johan decided, so he quit his attempts and instead focussed on the looming structure in front of him. The roar of the crowd was becoming louder, and he could nearly make out the words of the odious master of ceremonies.

He was led through what was effectively a back door and through several empty hallways lit by harsh, overhead florescent lights. Johan was not surprised that the hallways were so practical, and yet he could not but wish for a even a tiny splashing of aesthetic— a simple painting or a small plant, even. They passed through one more hallway, and entered into what was one of the rooms set aside from the competitors. The room was remarkably plain, but was furnished with several rows of chairs and a mounted television screen that allowed those in the room a live feed from the field and circuit outside.

As he had been instructed earlier, Johan took a seat, for he was to wait for twenty minutes for Godwin and Jaeger to arrive. Here the escorts left him and continued on down a hallway opposite to the one he would be taking towards the observation tower. As he waited the crowd only grew louder and more boisterous. To occupy his time and save him from falling into his thoughts, Johan brought up his PDA screen and began surfing the net, watching a few games of Go and trying to find more information on himself. As to be expected his name turned up more search results than the other times, but all of the new news items were reports about his rumoured appearance at the opening of the Duel Stadium. Occasionally he looked up to the television screen for an image to associate with the chaotic roaring that was beginning to ring in his ears.

After some twenty minutes had passed Johan set off again, his route now a bit more enjoyable, as the walls were painted rather than left bare and he was without the desultory company of the grim trio. He could hear the crowd better than before and, several times, could make out his own name being yelled with ferocious adoration.

The observation tower, compared to the rest of the stadium behind-the-scenes, was quite a refreshment to Johan. There was fine carpet, a lustrous coat of paint on the walls, a set of couches, and even a few live plants. A sprightly secretary had shown Johan the rest of the way, which had been a simple set of hallways and an elevator he could have verily easily navigated by himself. He had enjoyed the youth's enthusiasm and earnestness, however, so had seen no reason to send him away. But whatever the small rise in his spirits, it was quickly dashed by the sight of Jaeger and Godwin, both of their backs turned to him as they discussed a certain challenge that had arisen from unforseen circumstances: a dozen or so college students had taken it upon themselves to do everything they could to prevent the duels and shed light on the corrupt, or so they claimed. They were promptly detained, of course, but what to do with them was an issue, for one of the protestors was one of the duellists scheduled to participate in the tournament.

"Ah, Andersen-san," came Godwin's cool, even acknowledgement. Both he and Jaeger turned to face Johan.

Johan, in turn, nodded his head slightly. He found himself nearly accosted by Godwin's steady gaze, finding his breath freezing painfully in his chest.

"You have excellent timing," Godwin began again with a small smile. "You see, we were just about to move some of the match-ups around. Your new opponent, 'Blazing Yamada', might be a bit of problem, however, as he is quite fond of the hero archetype despite being a D-Wheeler."

"I...I don't mind at all. Why would that be a problem...?" Johan looked curiously at Godwin, and was almost appalled by the sudden realisation. What exactly Godwin was trying to get him to do or say he did not know, and it did not matter nearly as much as that fact that _he_ knew.

Try as he might to maintain his composure, Johan could not help the swelling anxiety that was overwhelming him and threatening to burst. There was not much Godwin could do with the such information, but that such an intimate and defining detail of his life was known to a man he distrusted as much as this was enough to disgust him. And it had not helped that Godwin had talked about such a profound issue in such an insouciant manner, as if it were but a simple obstacle that was only slightly relevant.

And then, worse of all, was how Godwin passed over the subject: "Ah, excuse me. It was but a small misunderstanding. Now, about your Duel Disk. Rather than use an older model, we have something we wish to test out for Kaiba Corp."

"Right, whatever you need..." Johan trailed off. Despite him being blatantly terse he noted that Godwin seem unaffected, cool and immovable as ever.

"I'm glad we understand. Please, allow Jaeger to accompany you to your dressing room."

Johan simply nodded, the best he could manage with the malaise currently festering within him. There was a sudden acute burning in the front of the head, a flash of blank heat shooting through his mind and viciously scattering his thoughts. Try as he might, it took all of his effort to follow blindly behind Jaeger. He gripped his deck tighter in his pocket and hoped fervently that the pain would subside before his duel.

Upon arriving at a large metal door, Jaeger said something, but the words sounded like nothing more than a faint gurgling as they washed over him. Even the man's strange laugh was no more than a distant din as Johan opened the door and entered, maintaining his front just long enough to close the door before collapsing against the wall. His hands immediately shot to his head and clutched at his forehead in an impotent attempt to ease the building pressure. He gnashed his teeth furiously to keep from screaming.

Another wave of pain—raw, blinding, crushing—came over him then, sending him into convulsions so violent they snatched the breath from his lungs. Explosion after explosion continued without interruption now, propelling the searing pain across his whole being, tearing his soul apart shred by painful shred. Johan stopped writhing and frantically wedged himself up against the wall, forcing his back into the wall with all his might but getting nowhere—not caring that he was getting nowhere—all in an attempt to channel some of the searing electricity from its roundabout course through his nerves. And just when the pain seemed to reach a peak—the pinnacle, a brilliance more glorious than the albedo of a thousand Jupiters —and he could take no more, it simply stopped, denying him the simple bliss of blackness.

Johan lay utterly motionless for a time, his eyes shut against the overwhelming light and his mind not daring to conjure a single thought. Then, slowly, carefully, a question was formed: was he alive?

He found the answer to be yes, but with a few conditions.

Mastering himself somewhat, the Gem Beast duellist pushed himself to his feet and leaned against the wall. He was overcome by a spell of vertigo, but continued to move nonetheless. Cautiously taking one step, he put his weight on his foot and tested the light with his good eye. And though his senses were overloaded he took another step and exposed his other eye to the harsh artificial light. Eventually existence became more bearable. Putting on his Duel Disk was a daunting task that he managed to accomplish one way or another, and by the time he had managed to secure the arm clasp he was aware of the frantic cries of his family.

"G-guys, I'm okay...Really, I am..." Johan breathed to himself. The Gem Beasts heard him well enough but did not believe a word of it. Short of calling him a liar, they accused him of pushing himself beyond all reason; that he was foolish for not seeing the need to call a doctor immediately.

Placing his hand against the wall for a bit of extra balance, Johan guided himself with considerable difficulty to the door and waited, his awareness slowly trickling back as the minutes passed. His erratic pulse had nearly resettled, and most of this thoughts had come back, though they were clearly ready to flutter away at the smallest sign of another attack.

There was a knocking on his door followed by what sounded like words, and then Johan knew that it was finally time to go. He opened the door slowly and nodded, hoping that this was an appropriate response to what Jaeger had asked. Following close behind once again, he allowed himself to be led through dizzying hallways that seemed to stretch on forever, giving him an impression of wandering aimlessly through a bright and desolate world with a only a treacherous soul for company.

Finally they arrived in open air. Johan carefully took step after step to his assigned place, moving with neither haste or confidence, focussing only on getting where he needed to go. His sight was no longer blurred, but his head was beginning to pound again. Above the field and track materialised several screens displaying Godwin's face. The floating head announced the official nascent of Duel Stadium and, with a flourish of his hands, announced his best wishes for all of participating duellists. There was a burst of motion behind Johan, from which a blue light emerged and engulfed the stadium. With Speed World activated the first Riding Duel commenced, which brought such a noise from the crowd that Johan was unable to hear his own cry of "Duel" to initiate the first standing duel of Duel Stadium. With the two duels simultaneously begun, the images of Godwin disappeared.

His duel now underway, Johan drew five cards and tried to focus on his opponent who was making the first move. Across the field stood a man of unremarkable height or fame. That he should be Johan's opponent did not come as a surprise to most there, for of Johan's legacy they knew—remembered— almost nothing about.

To the public of Neo Domino City—a people who were promised peace and whose days were filled with productivity—names of the old stars who no longer appeared in the Pro Leagues had begun to fade from the collective mind. Phoenix, Tenjoin, Marufuji—names such as these and more had been rendered little more than ephemeral reminders of a time that was quickly coming to pass. With the new way of duelling quite literally upon them, the future was running circles around the stagnant present which was ever receding into the past. The people were torn between who to pay attention to. A message was sent—look towards the future. It is more promising of movement and entertainment than the grounded past. Why be earthbound when one could fly?

The path to liberation was clear.

Despite all expectations, Johan was able to win his duel. Despite being memorised by the crowd and nearly blinded by the pain behind his eyes, he had managed to hold himself together and pull out his ace monster Ultimate Gem God Rainbow Dragon, which elicited a great furore from the crowd and produced within Johan a sublime sensation that managed to soothe his agitated nerves regardless of the wild ululations of the crowd lapping at his spine. Though he could not see from where he was, he knew that Godwin had been carefully observing the duel. What Johan did not know, however, was Godwin had been anticipating the summoning of his dragon and now, upon seeing it and its subsequent effects on its master, was thoroughly disappointed.


	3. f r a c t u r e

**Disclaimer: **_I do not own_ Yuugioh! DM GX _or_ Yuugioh! DM 5D's.

* * *

That winter was forecasted to be just as mild as last year's, but in the month of November Neo Domino City was dusted several times in a fine thin white powder that, though each time melted within the hour, made the city glitter with a natural brilliance. The temperature never dipped below freezing, but with all the moisture from the ocean the air constantly felt at least a centigrade colder than it really was.

As November ceded into December and the new year loomed precariously in the minds of the people, the weather turned sour and grey. Days were consistently blustery. Light jackets were exchanged for heavy coats and scarves. And for what little good they actually did in way of protecting the carrier from the sheets of partially frozen rain, umbrellas became a common accessory.

From his perch, Johan observed the moving people with an almost scholarly detachment. They were little more than barely perceptible spots moving far below him, and, though he would not admit it anyone, they became increasingly blurry spots. Try as he might, he could not deny that his eyesight was finally beginning to fail; as he had been warned, the clarity of his left eye and muscle coordination were deteriorating. Though he had been told by his physician that such a decline would most likely be gradual and only occur in small increments over the years, such a thing seemed childishly fanciful now. He had no doubt that this rapid development was largely due to the inflammatory effects of all the stress he was under. From the meetings to his hosts to the sensations that he caused every time he went out into public, Johan's only respite was the solace he found in his family and santcuary within in himself, and even then the once immovable tranquilly of his soul had been becoming more aqueous, prone to ripple at even the slightest of disturbances. And there were of course his constant headaches, which if not as crippling as the singular one before his duel, were still wholly painful.

Also adding to his stress was the matter of his residence. After discussing his future at length with his family, it had been concluded that it would be best for him to stay on in Neo Domino City for an indefinite amount of time. Johan had taken part in a few more duels, all of which he had managed to win. The real problem of his residence came from his hosts, however; they had promised him a private residency that they had supposedly had all intentions of giving him, but small details and obstacles kept hampering progress to the point that it all seemed stymied a swamp of bureaucratic language and subtleties.

In the end, it was determined that Johan would have to register for Japanese citizenship, to which he could not be anything but incredulous. It was obvious to him that all his information would be compiled neatly into the Neo Domino City data system, and his file would finally be up-to-date, just as he believed his hosts wanted. He did not voice his concerns, however, and quietly filled out all of the appropriate paperwork while being as vague as possible in many areas (sexuality: undetermined; ethnicity: European). Nothing else had been said about the matter, and Johan was left to assume that he was to stay at one of the many Public Security Bureau estates until his papers cleared. He was given nothing that augured for or against his assumption, and Jaeger carried on his daily meetings with him as before.

With December inevitably giving way to January and the New Year along with it, Johan marked his fourth month of residence within Neo Domino City. Though it was not as much a residency as an extended visit, he may as well have been a resident with how he had been treated. His file was also within the Neo Domino City data system which, as he had been told by Godwin, put him on the same level as all the citizens.

Then came a day that had started out as dully as any other but quickly took a turn for the auspicious. It started with the morning briefing; Jaeger was a good ten minutes late and seemed louder than usual, almost irascible beneath his amusingly thin veneer. Johan was more terse than he usually was, and even managed to seem despondent as Jaeger listed off the guests for the evening. Only when it was mentioned that another duel was scheduled did the duellist brighten, and even then he effected disinterest to a certain degree, suggesting that his interests were now elsewhere.

"Ahh, so, two weeks...I'm sure by that time I'll be ready to duel again," Johan said quietly as he looked to the side.

"Of course you'll be ready, Andersen-san," Jaeger responded, his reply notably devoid of his trademark laugh.

"I might as well... Such is my life, in any case." Johan wondered briefly if he was being a bit too blatant with his theatrics, then quickly added, "And, no, there's nothing that I need. Though you know, I would like to go out today, on my own. No one watching me—either in person or with surveillance cameras." Both for effect and to show that he was not as placid as he seemed, Johan gestured towards a statuette of an owl set on top of one of the bookshelves. A camera had been placed in the left eye of the statuette, and Johan had simply known it was there from the first time he noticed the artificial owl.

"Ehehehe, what an imagination you have, Andersen-san. Perhaps you have been immersed within the Solid Vision system one too many times. Spying on a guest is such a despicable thing, an unthinkable one were one to do it to such an _honourable_ guest. Sure we may have made some questionable moves before in the past, but never anything so utterly tasteless."

Johan shook his head a bit. "Of course. What was I thinking?"

"Clearly something mistaken. We would not expunge our honour with such a reprehensible act, nor would we have a guest trying to impute such a quality to us. Please, reflect more on your accusations a bit more next time before throwing them around like that. Reputation is such a delicate matter, as you know." Jaeger's tone had returned to its normal pitch, but there was clearly an edge there.

Upon absorbing Jaeger's message and insinuation Johan mentally shuddered. There was a sudden impulse to turn his back on this man and unleash upon him a cannonade of caustic words not worthy of his breath. "I'm not accusing you of anything, though my words could be considered inclusive by the uninformed. I would just prefer to be alone for a change, if only for a moment. After being a recluse for so long, being watched leaves a bad taste in my mouth."

"If it is solitude you need, then surely it can be arranged, ehehehe. I'll take my leave of you. Dinner is always at five, so be there. Though, please also do remember that once something is fractured, it only takes a minuscule amount of pressure to shatter it." And with his no so cryptic warning, Jaeger departed from the palatial room which had become to Johan the closest thing to a home in this foreign city.

Left to himself finally, Johan could not help but be perturbed. Not only had the other man coasted the topic of him spending a day in the city, he had subtlety threatened with a prospect that was utterly terrifying to him. To be dropped off into this city with nothing but his family was a thought he shuddered at, knowing very well how utterly overwhelmed and in over his head he would be. Though he would have more than enough money to get out, he did not put it past the Public Security Bureau to "intervene" for the "safety" of the public. With as much as knew and the people he had met, he could quite rightly been seen as a liability to the social order.

For, and as Johan was unabashed to say, the state of things in Neo Domino City was terribly off. Most prominent of signs was the Satellite, which the true of nature of had taken him a week to fully understand. It was a place where the refuse of the new city was sent, material as well as human. All crimes from loitering to grand theft to manslaughter were punishable by a sentence in a detention centre followed by exile to Satellite, rendering the original grounds of Domino City a virtual penial colony. In addition, criminals were marked on the cheek with a strip whose colours and length indicated the crimes of the wearer. The mark also served as a tag, as it constantly sent out a signal traceable at all times by law enforcement. Also, from a vague rumour Johan had gleaned that there was a black market at Satellite from which everything short of human life could be purchased for prices that reflected the decadence of the place.

To Johan, the mere idea of Satellite was enough to aggravate another set of headaches. Upon thinking about it he cast such a malaise over himself that he made himself sick enough to have to retire from dinner early. How could it be that such a place had been allowed to come into existence? With as much as Godwin preached about his visions of peace and utopia, Johan regarded Satellite as a stark contradiction to the images he conjured in the minds of his fellows. But despite it being such a flagrant evil, Godwin had once spoken on the subject of Satellite and called it a blessing, a necessary outlet for all that was ill in society. Those who did not co-operate, those who did not behave within social boundaries, the waste of productivity that would choke the minds of those who were productive—all of this had to be disposed of in the interest of the multitudes.

But what was worst of all was the disposition of the people themselves—prejudice ran deep against those who lived in Satellite, even if the system of separation of the two places was relatively young. The denizens of Neo Domino City gladly sacrificed the humanity and dreams of their brethren for a synthetic peace promised by a man who, while seemingly benevolent, had hints of despotism tainting his every word and action.

These things Johan thought and more, but he had tried to be careful to not over think any of it, for the headaches and unease it stirred in him were nearly overwhelming. The symptoms of the change he had fretted so much about were almost enough to drive him to his limit; of the disease itself, he could only harbour a crushing dread, for its true nature had to be so unspeakable that it would be beyond his knowing until he came face to face with it.

So when, in the middle of that auspicious day, Johan was called upon by Godwin for lunch, Johan was assaulted by a great deal of emotions, but knew he could not refuse lest he give the impression that he was disgusted with the ways of the Public Security Bureau and wanted nothing to do with them any longer. And though it _was_ true that he despised them and worried for his safety, he knew that he could not bring himself to be on their bad side just yet. However, if he were to wait just a bit longer...

Just as asked, Johan was presentable by eleven thirty and on his way to the helicopter pad by eleven forty five. The rhythm of the rain on the roof had an undeniable pathos that had Johan more unsettled then he thought was reasonable. Sure he expected to be unnerved by the head of such an agency as the Public Security Bureau, but that he was literally shaking was not something that he would abide. Stopping a moment, he observed the water cascading down the windows, blurring the world outside into an image of murky grey faintly punctured by muted streaks of yellow light. Though as sombre as the image was, it managed to give him a moment of much needed calm, allowing him to finally quell his shaking through sheer will. He continued, however, as he knew that any lateness on his part would not do much for his standing, which he had begun to suspect was already slipping.

As always Johan was helped into the helicopter by an attendant. Though shivering and well soaked, he was in slightly better spirits than when he had set out. Seeing the obscure images of the city rushing beneath the helicopter produced within him a peculiar serenity. The longer he looked the more he was affected, until finally it struck him that they were descending.

Upon landing Johan was immediately helped out and guided towards shelter. As the helicopter retreated he got a good glimpse of his surrounds, enough to judge what particular building he was on the roof of. He was led through a series of hallways and to an elevator. Going several floor down, there was one last hallway to walk before they arrived at a rather large door that was left ajar. Alone now, Johan proceeded slowly. In the room before him was the singular sight of Godwin standing with arms behind his back, observing the wet city below him. Had Johan not had all his biasses, perhaps he would have been moved by Godwin's silent display of solemn sentry.

"Mr. Andersen," Godwin began in mild English. He then turned around to face Johan, his smile as slight as ever.

Johan, not trusting his voice at first, merely nodded. Then, quietly, "Godwin."

"Come sit down. We have much to talk about."

Despite his better judgment, Johan strode over to the single table in the room and sat down opposite from Godwin. The two men said nothing for a length, merely regarding one another in tense silence.

"You seem displeased, Mr. Andersen. Or, at the very least, uneasy. Is there something someone has done to upset you?"

"I..." Instead of continuing verbally, Johan shook his head. Then a pause before he continued. "I'm just a bit perturbed by the constant rain. It doesn't do much to help me sleep."

"Ah, your insomnia. Even the greatest mind is unhinged by a lack of rest. You'd do well to remedy that as soon as possible. Merely inform Jaeger, and it will be taken care of. Or, if you would prefer, I would not mind looking into the matter myself."

They were silent again, waiting for Johan to put forth his part of the exchange.

"That's kind of you, but if worse comes to worse I am sure that I can manage. The last thing I wish to do is to put any more of a burden on you," Johan said quietly. He looked away briefly, finding it harder and harder to look Godwin in the eye for reasons well beyond him. The intensity of the man's gaze, that vague fire that smoldered there...

"It's hardly a burden, Mr. Andersen. Surely you of all people would understand that."

"I... I'm afraid I don't understand what you mean."

"Eight years spent under the name of that man has taught you more than you care to admit, Mr. Andersen. Though I suppose it is not much of a matter considering all else. If anything, I would rather have you explain to me why you find my society so repulsive."

Taken aback by the sudden, utterly unexpected question, Johan could do nothing but glance nervously at Godwin as he searched for the right words. "Your society...Neo Domino City is fine. I'm just a bit confused by everything."

"Please do not lie to me, Mr. Andersen," Godwin began, as calm as ever. His smile deepened, however, as if he meant to accentuate his point with such an irony. "I know that you are repulsed by my society, that you would do all that you could to dismantle what I am striving so hard to create."

"Heh, is that so...? You spent a lot more time observing me that I thought. Neo Domino City is something that I can't understand. You call it a utopia, but all I see is dysphoria and a people who know not their own shadow. Your method of disposing of the 'evil' is disgusting."

"Such language, Mr. Andersen. Disgusting? Dysphoria? Nothing I have done is anything but justified. To build a perfect peace there must be sacrifices."

"Sacrifices? Your _sacrifices_ are humans who have their own dreams and wishes and plans. You can't deem something as precious as a human life worthless, ever. I don't care who you are. How is it that you came to power? What could have possibly happened that we allowed you to rise to where you are now?" Johan demanded, his voice increasingly frantic. He had an urge to jump up, but willed it back.

"Ah, how I came to power? You claim ignorance, but you are far from being ignorant of the cause. It's almost hypocritical—humourous even— that you deny your part in it."

"My part...? I..." For all of his efforts, Johan could not help his need to draw back so he did, his chair dragging along the floor with a sharp protest. "N-no...you're blaming Juudai for the state of things?"

"The state of things? No, the state of things as it is now is the fruition of my efforts. It was your pariah hero who brought the people down to the dark depths from which they had to be saved. Shattered, disillusioned, hopeless, suicidal—what a state they all were in, the people of Domino City and most of the world. I've begun work on an infrastructure that will keep all the darkness and ills of the world at bay. There is a but small price to pay, and they do not mind it one bit. There is nothing but glory in what I have selflessly given the world."

"Glory...? No, you've drawn up the blueprints for humanity's self-destruction. You've killed the idea of an individual, of the preciousness of a life. And if no longer with darkness...A human no longer has the opportunity to grow and learn how to achieve a balanced existence," Johan said, his voice becoming softer as he spoke. Though his resolve was not breaking—it was already so fractured—his ability to defend himself was dying with the breath that had been stifled by the gravity of what Godwin was implying. "Juudai never hurt anyone...he was their hero, he saved them all from darkness while teaching them how to be better humans."

"Your idea of salvation is very strange, Mr. Andersen. You would leave the fate of all the world up to a single man that may or may not perform what is expected of him? The people of Domino City, left to their own devices, surely would have destroyed themselves under the weight of their melancholy and complacency. I have given them the shelter that they needed, the peace that they cried for. If anyone is a hero—a word that I hate, mind you—it would have to be the Public Security Bureau which I run. We are the saviours." Godwin, for all his eloquence and insinuation, was calm, though there was something burning in his eyes now with such a ferocity that it left Johan more lost than he ever thought possible. And for someone who had been set adrift as far as he had, it was a new level of an unthinkable isolation that began with him and ended with a yawning abysm emptier than the farthest reaches of the cosmos.

"No, you're wrong. To say that what you've done is saving the people is such a gross lie. You threw a curtain over their eyes and stole from them their ability to be human. They're no better off then sheep. They can't discern right from wrong, and they're blinded because of it. What will you say to the man who kills his brother because of some small misunderstanding?"

"Surely you are exaggerating," Godwin said flatly. "Murder over something small is unheard of in my city. If there are any who would do such a thing, chances are they have already been removed and put into their proper place."

"No, I'm not. There will come a day when people won't know the difference because they hardly know themselves. Without a sense of their darkness—their fears and doubts—they can't possibly be balanced and well-adjusted."

"You speak almost as if you believe that you yourself are well-adjusted, Mr. Andersen. If what you say is true, you will have no problem adjusting to living within my city." Godwin gestured at the window with a sweep of his hand.

"I––"

"Though I'll have you know," Godwin began, cutting Johan off, "I have no intention of being untrue to my word. You shall always be a most welcome guest, even if you have such strange views. Really, it's those views that concern me and make certain that I cannot have you running around outside my city just yet. I believe that those views are simply too much influence from that man, nothing that cannot be rectified with a bit of proper care and erudition. Though there are certain things which must be expunged for you recovery. Namely, your unfortunate ties to that mongrel."

"My ties...? I haven't seen Juudai in so long. You should know that. He disappeared nearly ten years ago. Perhaps you just don't want to admit that you can't find him."

"It's not a matter of vanity, Mr. Andersen. It pains me to see you so very misled, that a man such as you has let yourself be pulled so very far away from the truth by such an abject man. Why do you not give up those worthless bonds? Do not let yourself be pulled away any further. Let go and find yourself a peaceful solace in my society, for your own sake."

Overwhelmed now, Johan was unable to hold back his pain any longer. Fine tendrils of heat shot through the forefront of his mind and bore down, trying to pull his thoughts back into the depths of his subconscious. He bit down on his tongue in an instinctual attempt to hold himself in.

"You seem unpleased, Mr. Andersen," Godwin began, his tone mockingly relaxed.

"There never was anything that Juudai did not fix," Johan whispered through clenched teeth. Despite his pain, despite his falling, he had to do something. To fail Juudai now, after everything... "There was never anyone that Juudai abandoned. People may have been displaced, but they would have eventually found their path again. Yet you had to mess with the recovery. You misled everyone, and they can't see it. You're...you're worse than Darkness."

"Very well, then. Seeing as you are adamant, let's assume for a moment you are right: I'm the bad the guy—the villain— and Neo Domino City is a hideous blight upon the world despite it's shining example in the bleak history of humans. Add with this the fact that the people no longer care or recognise their...hero. After considering all of this, answer me one thing, Mr. Andersen: will your hero defeat the evil now, the evil that is now unanimously supported by the people it has in turn supported?"

A beat. Johan's head pounded. The rain continued its battery against the window, a din from a million kilometres away, a battle march that failed to roust spiralling spirits.

"Is there something wrong, Mr. Andersen? You seem like you're doubting your unshakeable faith."

Johan opened his mouth, only quickly to close it. Filled with an undeniable dread, an unspeakable fever, and an overwhelming pain—lost in an ocean of black emotions and negativity—Johan found himself floundering as he never knew. He could not help it even if he wanted to—no matter how much he wanted to. The ropes had been pulled taut and left vulnerable to a single swipe of the glimmering scythe that had been brandished above his head for so long by the world.

"I..."

And just like that, he found that something had given out beneath him.


	4. base

All right, part four...the shortest part? Beware of the copious amounts of fluff of doom.

...And maybe here I should say something meaningful? I have yet to dedicate this, so why not now...? Well, here's something new for me; I dedicate this one to the reader instead of some random--though relatively awesome--person you'll never meet.

And hay, awesome RP guys, maybe you'll get a little extra bit of dedication. Seriously, after today I'm going to forever feel that I really have come a long way as a writer. In fact, after looking over something I wrote back in February, I _know_ that I've grown a lot as a person and this is reflecting in my writing.

Anyway, please enjoy this final installment! As always, all reviews and criticism are loved and hugged, and so very appreciated.

**_Disclaimer:_**_ Still nothing. _

* * *

Like the primal dance of the stars, the antediluvian patterns of the sea continued as always, constant despite all the antics and woes of the human race. Like always, nature remained vigilant to the laws set out by the ancients who made the designs before the first bounce of the atom, when everything was frozen and unmoving and heat was nothing but a breath in the ear of the creator. And so days and nights passed, adding up as weeks turned into months and winter gave way to spring. The weather grew mild and the temperature no longer plunged below twenty degrees centigrade. For one night stars plummeted towards the earth, but even this only lasted awhile.

Eventually Johan found himself in his own home atop Neo Domino City. His neighbours were the wealthy and privileged, the lucky few who never known the feel of grit beneath their fingernails. He did not fit well among them, but he had never fit well in that city. His only release was his family and duels. Unfortunately the latter was becoming an even rarer occasion than it had been before; in three months he was invited to two duels only. However, due to his health, he had to decline the invitation to the most recent. He now had to use contacts to read, to see the vessels of his family.

So when finally what seemed like an auspicious day at last—a light shower in the morning that ended up transmuted into a magnificent electric storm—Johan was only able to note wearily that something was in the air. Awash in his own brooding, he would not allow himself to believe what every bit of his soul was telling him.

Treading silently, Johan, clad in slacks and a blue dress shirt, made no sound as he crossed his living room in the orange twilight. He stole a glance out of one of his large windows; the coruscating horizon was clear of the storm clouds that lingered over the city, threatening to cleanse it one more time before finally disappearing. A few birds dotted the horizon. Rush hour was in full swing, the highways lined with cars in neat rows as far as he could see. It was a truly beautiful day, and if he had only been able to hope he would have _known_ that it was time.

Retreating to one of his sofas with a book, Johan stretched out before opening his book. The bookmark fell out and fluttered downwards until it landed softly by his head. Shifting slightly, he propped his back against the arm rest and concentrated on his book, the recounting of a sea voyage that would invariably end in disaster.

Time passed and the sun sank lower. Time passed and the lights turned themselves on. Time had passed, and would continue to pass.

A slight movement followed by a tiny sound caught Johan's attention. Looking up from his book he truly expected to see Ruby, but in the end was wholly surprised by what he saw.

Taking a step towards Johan, Juudai smiled brilliantly as he looked on at the image of his friend reclining with a book in hand. He was about to say something, but all of his intentions and plans were shot when he saw the look Johan gave him—desolation? Hopelessness? Loneliness? Though he could not place it, Juudai knew that something was gravely wrong, so he reigned himself and settled for something simple.

"Johan."

"Hello, Juudai. It's...good to see you again." Johan's response was dry, almost impersonal, his tone appropriate for addressing an acquaintance he had not seen in too many years. Still, there was a small spark in his eyes. If Juudai had have seen Johan even once during the past few months he would have known that something vital had finally been rekindled.

"Hey, Johan..." Juudai took another step forward. He wondered briefly if maybe he had made a bad impression, though he was sure that he had managed to maintain his hygiene well enough for his circumstances. He still had all his limbs, too, as well as his teeth and both eyes, The few things about him that had physically changed was the length of his hair, but only slightly, the width of his arms, only out of necessity, and his eyes, which had managed to become more severe. "Johan...?"

"...Yeah?"

"Just...checking." Tentative, Juudai crossed the rest of the of the living room and knelt down at Johan's side. The two made eye contact for a length. Juudai finally broke the silence, beginning, "Your eyes, your pupil...Johan, what happened...?" He reached out a hand and was about to touch Johan, but was suddenly overcome by a shattering realisation; Johan would have mostly likely shied away from his touch.

"Adie's Syndrome. Remember how I told you that I was sick? Well, it finally caught up with me. It's not too big of a deal, though. It could be worse."

"Johan..."

"Yes, Juudai?" Johan tilted his head slightly and placed his book on the floor near Juudai.

"What's happened to you? Of all the people in the world...I shouldn't have been away as long as I was."

"What? You were only gone two more years. I've just been a bit sick these past few months. All of this stress has really gotten to me. Weakly, Johan managed a smile.

"That's the thing, though. Johan, you're not _suppose_ to be affected. You were suppose to be above the influence of everything and everyone else. You're you. There's so much I want to ask you, and yet...Yet, I'm afraid of the answers I'll get."

Johan, who could tell that Juudai was being utterly candid, was rocked. He had imagined this moment many times in his head before, but never had it occurred remotely as things were preceding now. His anxiety was blossoming and quickly beginning to weigh upon him.

"Johan, what have I let transpire in my absence? I knew it all along—I knew better than to let you be on your own..."

"Juudai?" The Gem Beast duellist sounded truly alarmed as he spoke that simple, two-syllable name.

"You're hurt, Johan. I can see it so clearly in your face that it hurts _me_. What's happened to you I can only imagine, but I'm afraid that you've...that you've drifted so far away from that place we were two years ago. I know that I've changed, but you...you're suppose to be the same because you _didn't_ need to change." And despite his best efforts, Juudai could not help but be solemn. Carefully, he rested his arms on the couch, his urge to feel Johan maddening but his reason cautioning him otherwise. It was very likely that if he were to touch Johan now, he would break his fragile friend. And to let Johan fall now was unthinkable to him.

Johan, openly confused, regarded Juudai. His eyes betrayed him as he nearly scooted away from the other. "Changed? Juudai, I...I may have gone within myself a bit, but it was the only option to me. I'm here now, like before. We're here. Those two years are nothing now; I've waited and now it's finally time."

"Yes, you've waited, but it's obvious that you've been kept waiting too long Johan, you..."

"...Juudai?"

Not saying anything, Juudai took a risk and reached out for Johan, his hand tenderly resting on the other's. When Johan unconsciously twitched he frowned slightly, but withdrew his hand all the same and tried somewhere else, instead gently touching the other's shoulder. "What have I let happen to you? Johan, I can see that you've been stripped by a thing I so foolishly thought immortal—that brilliant spark of yours is gone."

"My spark?" Johan parroted absently, his eyes widening slightly. "No...Juudai, I'm alive right now, more alive than I've been for so long."

"And that's what makes me regret leaving you even more—that you ever even faded is proof of negligence on my part. I allowed you to put yourself into a state that was only going to hurt you, and I knew better. Still, I didn't say anything because I didn't trust my foresight and now...Johan, you're further gone than I ever thought possible, and for that I'm so very sorry."

"Gone away? Juudai, no, I'm right here. See me? And don't blame yourself, there were things you needed to do, so I waited, but that time is over," Johan said quietly, his voice clearly desperate. Feeling more and more like a child, he sat up, looking directly into Juudai's eyes. Cautiously, he took Juudai's hand into his own. Though he shuddered at what was the most intimate touch he had had in too long, he made no form of protest when Juudai brought his other hand up to his face.

Then, his eyes locking with Johan's, Juudai cupped Johan's face in his hands. He simply gazed down for awhile, painfully aware of the mismatched pupils searching his face. "Johan, I'm sorry," Juudai breathed, his thumbs along the other's jawline and his fingers supporting his chin. With a small frown he pulled Johan closer to him and buried his head in warm celadon locks. "Johan, I'm sorry. It's okay let it all go now. I promise I'll catch you, and then you can start moving on with your life again."

Instead of speaking, instead of breathing, instead of protesting, Johan allowed the first barriers to fall. He was here now—Juudai was here and he was finally safe. Pushing himself against Juudai, he grabbed onto the other with all his might as body began rocking with sobs. Overwhelmed by so many things—emotions, feelings, weariness, expectations—Johan let it all sluice out of him in the presence of the only person he knew he could trust. After a great length he managed to gather himself and look at Juudai. "Juudai, they blamed you for the state of things. That you caused the Darkness incident, and you're culpable for the declining state of morality, and I didn't know what to do about it. I've tried to live so long within myself that I forgot so many things and I, I couldn't—!"

Juudai silenced Johan with a small kiss on his cheek. Then, moving back, he wiped at the curve of the other's cheekbones with his thumbs, drying the tears that had not soaked in the locks hanging in his face. "Ssssh, Johan. It's okay. Let it go, let it go. I'm here now. Nothing will touch you ever again, I _promise. _I swear that you can trust in me now. I've learned so much and grown up—I'm dependable now, so please, just let me take care of you like I should've in the first place."

"Juudai, I..." Johan's words were nothing more than a breath, barely even audible to the man who held him so close. He was shivering as he looked deeply into Juudai's eyes.

"It'll be all right, Johan. Please, please, please. Believe me. I'm so sorry..."

"I understand, Juudai," Johan said softly as he pulled Juudai closer. "I trust you, I always have. I'm just...confused. Letting go has been hard for me, almost too hard. I'm not afraid of falling because I know you'll be there...it's just I think that I've been too dependant...and when I see that void there I worry that I'll scare you with how far I might fall...Yet I've fallen so far, haven't I...? I'll let go because I trust you—because I love you."

This was enough to dispel most doubts that Juudai was having about Johan. Sure the other had clearly become emptier, but that was his fault, really, for making his dear friend try and fill a hole in his life with cold intellect and celibacy. It was not fair at all for Johan, for in the face of the world he had hidden himself away and dulled his senses in an attempt to learn to live without. It was not fair, but it would be a precarious situation with which he knew he how to remedy. Carefully, Juudai got up onto the sofa with Johan and positioned himself so that they were making eye contact.

After several moments of silent exchange, Juudai embraced Johan fully. The other embraced him back and buried his head in the crook of his neck, overwhelming Juudai with his scent. They simply stayed that way for awhile, unaware of anything but each other, Juudai silently thanking whoever was listening for not letting Johan slip too far away from him. Though even if he had a long way to go, Juudai knew there was a small chance Johan could be completely salvaged—hope and all.

Though Juudai admittedly had as little as experience as Johan in theses matters, his extensive travels had put him in contact with many people who had taught him a broad range of things. Though no where near a master in the art of romantic expression, he at least knew enough to have an idea of what to do next.

When Johan looked up at him he smiled. Tenderly, he began, "Johan, I'm so sorry. I knew that you were always determined, just as well as I knew that you would be determined to wait even if it killed you. I should have told you that it was okay to live beyond what I gave you—the world needs you just as much as I do."

"Juudai, please don't blame yourself. I made my choice and I don't regret it for a moment...well, except for the burden I've caused you. I tried to do what I could for you, and I failed. That you're willing to help me out of the hole I've created is more than I deserve. I can see it now—I've fallen and it's going to be hard to stand up. I finally let myself fall, and the distance had somehow managed to become so great..."

"It's not your fault, Johan. I knew that distance would be there...I knew that I would grow apart from you, I just had no idea that the gulf would become so wide. You shouldn't have been bound to that. I was careless. Now, coming back to you, it's time that I took responsibility and fixed what I broke. And unless you don't want me to—in which I will understand and swear to never bother you again—I intend to do just that."

"Juudai..." Johan looked long at Juudai, taking in every detail of this older image of the carefree boy he had known so long ago. They both had changed, just like the whole world had changed...Now all of that was so close to not mattering anymore, but the obstacle that was left was daunting, for the prospect of mending a soul seemed a great task indeed. But here Juudai was, offering to take up all the responsibility of carrying the broken regardless of how long it took...

"Will you, Johan? Will you let me take up the responsibility I've had to you, and which I've run away from for too long?"

After again looking at Juudai for a time, Johan leaned in so he could whisper, "Yes, I will, but... only if you let me share it."

Smiling now, Juudai pulled Johan closer so that he could whisper as well, his breath hot on Johan's skin, "thank you so very much for giving me what I want. I won't let you down, I promise. I promise..." Pulling back, he traced a hand down Johan's face as he leaned in—this time for a soft kiss which was so exquisitely tender that Johan practically wilted against his touch. Gaining confidence and meeting no resistence, Juudai trailed a hand along the other's cheek until he reached his jawline, and from there continued until he reached the nape of Johan's neck. His other hands brushed aside celadon locks as he leaned in for another kiss, this time a bit more forceful, but still exceedingly gentle.

To the intimate touch Johan could not help but shiver, waves of something long forgotten rolling over his being as he began to move with Juudai. He wrapped his arms around the brunet's back and, when engaged in the second kiss, pushed back a bit, which alerted Juudai to his acceptance of the gesture.

Pushing Johan down, Juudai kissed him a third time, even more forceful than before. Walls were finally torn down, and Juudai's tongue pushed for entrance into Johan's mouth. At the same time he moved his hands to hold Johan closer, and in turn he was held tighter, the other's hands digging into the fabric of his jacket.

When they broke away—both painfully on the brink of asphyxiation—Juudai spread his hands on either side of Johan's head and panted into the other's collar. As Johan struggled to regain his own breath he coughed some, and then fumbled with one of his contacts which had begun moving around. When it was back in place he and Juudai locked gazes, allowing energetic brown and electric green to meet for a while. With his heat building and threatening to overwhelm him, Johan made a small gesture to help keep himself contained—running a finger along Juudai's face as they continued to gaze at each other.

Juudai brushed foreheads with him once before sitting up, now effectively straddling Johan. The other squirmed a bit beneath him, but it was nothing other than a small movement both of them had expected on some level.

Smiling gently, Johan began to whisper, "Thank you, Juudai, for giving me your warmth. It's been so cold...I didn't realise it, but I was slowly freezing to death."

Moving down again, Juudai pressed his lips against Johan's quickly before embracing him again. "Don't worry, I'll never let you come close to that state ever again. I promise I'll protect you—I won't ever leave you alone again—and I mean it."

"I know you do, Juudai, and for that I am so grateful...Thank you."

Feeling that further words on the subject were useless, Juudai simply nodded and smiled. Getting up now, he pulled Johan to his feet before placing his hands on the other's shoulders. "Though you know, I can't stay here. Though god knows you can't either. And I can't say really where I'm going now. The time for settling is soon, I can assure you, but that's all that I know."

"No, that's fine, Juudai. Really, it is. I'll follow you wherever as long as you'll have me with you. I just worry that I'll be a further burden. To see correctly I need glasses or contacts and I have these headaches..."

"Whatever you need I'll provide for you, somehow. I just need you to know that it won't be easy for some time. But I'll do my best for you, and no harm will befall you."

"I don't doubt it, Juudai," Johan said quietly. And to emphasise this he put his hands on Juudai's shoulder, mimicking the other's steadying action. "All I ask of you is that you please don't leave me alone anymore. That's it."

"No, never again," Juudai reassured, his tone exceedingly tender. To emphasise his own point he drew Johan as close as he could manage—just short of choking the other. "I understand now what it means to take responsibility for what's mine—what I need to do to protect you, Johan."

Closing his eyes, Johan merely nodded into Juudai's chest. He was tired for sure, and his mind full of kaleidoscopic images of what had been but ephemeral moments of the fast years. To steady himself he clutched at the soft black material near his eyes, and, amidst a storm of undulating emotions and gratifying heat, finally allowed himself to fully succumb.

And so it was done; the falling allowed, understood, and complete.

--

It was sometime later when Godwin discovered that his guest was gone. On the pretense of personally delivering Johan his Japanese passport, he arrived and was greeted by mockingly silent house. He could not honestly say that it surprised him; indeed it was to be expected of rabble to be ungrateful and tactless, and in the end to stick with its own. He said nothing of the departure to the rest of his staff, instead quietly removing all the traces of Johan Andersen from the Neo Domino City files and effectively from history. As far as he was concerned Johan Andersen was a nonentity, his existence important no longer. For a people who were being weened from the abstract, the story of Johan Andersen and his hero would be no good—it was a fairytale at best. A broken soul finally been found by the one who could save him.

And as it was, Johan had, for all intents and purposes, fallen off the face of the planet. If anyone ever wanted to see him again they would first have to contact Juudai and, as any sane man knew, that was about as possible as tying the wind down with a thread.


End file.
